I scroll through Reddit and play on their games. I skip all my meetings and never get laid When my boss calls me up, I've always got flu. And I spend half my time scrolling memes on the loo What am I?

Some people have a lot and some people don't.. Some people start with it, but lose it. Some will say they were close but missed it by a

I'm not number one and I'm not number three, sit on a throne and below I will be. What am I?

Like skin for a tree, a mailman may fear me.

I can break the sound barrier, not to brag. If you want to try, just grab a wet rag.