I move at surprising speeds, I spread something used as a synonym for seed, I can be startling indeed, After me, a type of paper you may need.

I am up, I am down. What you give, you receive. It hurts, what they call me, like witch with a B.

I'm not a downcat, Actually quite the reverse, And if you should guess me, At me you will curse. Two words together, a direction and hound, Ask what it means and to the punchline be bound.

I hum and whir with noble intent, until your patience has been spent. I’m full of paper, yet scream for more, then jam myself with page four.

I make brits and americans disagree, but I do not make them unhappy. People often like to eat either version of me.