What always gets caught in the middle of a fight, but always stays silent in a pasta dish delight?

I am a story, but not of fiction. I speak of presence, through contradiction. I shield the guilty, though I am not a lie, but finding my holes requires a keen eye. What am I?

Tick.. tick.. Boom! Bang! Kaboom! Ding ding ding! Whoosh whoosh. Sizzle sizzle. Tsssssss..

I become human if kissed, though how difficult this is, for I am slimy and green. Sometimes I blend in with trees.

I can make you feel light, and happy, despite my natural depressives. Fermented like grapes, I am corn, potatoes, wheat, and more, and I can bring a flush to your cheeks. While I am fully natural, I am poison to your body, but as the poison works, I take inhibition away.