I’m covered in cheese, with toppings galore, cut into slices, who could ask for more?

It's Four-sided and tall like a monolith, but pointy-headed like a pencil. Shakespeare can't distinguish between pyramids and it. What is it?

I’m a long, long line of homes Rolling where the wild wind roams. I look like a turtle that lives on the street, With wheels for feet and beds for a seat.

I sleep in silence until the day A warrior calls and draws me away My shining body catches the light As I awaken to the coming fight I have no voice yet tales I tell Of ancient kings who rose and fell Through mighty battles I have soared A symbol of honor, feared and adored I have no hands yet help defend I have no heart yet stand by a friend With sharpened edge and courage untold I guard the brave in legends of old What am I that shines so bright A warrior's pride in the darkest fight

Karl calls my blade kaiser with a grunt and a hum; add shot, and Bart and Dennis aim straight at your bum.