I am green but I am sweet what am I? do you know?

A beautiful end to an ugly start, or at least that's how the tale goes. But dive in without water, and I'm a beautiful start to an ugly end. Oddly, I don't really do the action that was named after me.

With a pole up my backside. I feel no pain. That might change If I only had a brain.

Heard in stories of the night, from the brush of leaves, a fright. Wind and canopy’s sounding fight. Card shifting, lifting flicks of delight. An actor named Crowe, just his first, sounds alike.

I exist simply because I can't take the pressure. It's too much, man. I just gotta erupt and let off some steam, but if I don't, then things are just quiet. TOO quiet.... I want to live, not just be named and sometimes timed, if I'm consistent enough! And even though I don't spit fire, people don't take me seriously and they get way too close. Darwin Award winners.