You roll your finger inside of me, So does your spouse enthusiastically, I may embody matrimony, Yet others take me casually

I sound fake and full of crap, Yet I clean you in a snap

I've got broad shoulders and a mean hook, My name sparks terror, Yet I harm no soul, nor do I cook, I'm just the weary fella

The British love to have me, But they usually give me the silent treatment

I'm white, black or red-headed, My favorite spot is on top of your face, But don't you dare pinch me, Or I'll burst in tears and leave you a scar to remember!