I’m a brief celebration that no calendar marks, A tide that rolls in between daylight and dark. I might bring a bargain to your watering hole, I make spirits rise - sometimes literally so.

I sit inside your home, waiting to leave. I sometimes attempt to exit when you seek relief. I occasionally make noise, embarrassing you, and I’m always considered number two.

Singular, usually found next to where you lay your head for the night. Or Singular, hopefully, leaving your bed at first light.

If large and red, please do avoid, But don't become too paranoid, When on your coat he'll bind a gap, He's such a helpful little chap. When fungus bears this fellow's name, You can eat it: it's fair game. When told to do this to your lip, It's euphamistic just like zip. What is this item?

This is my house, I have to defend it without fear, No one else can since I made my family disappear. Setting traps for the bad guys like a bloodthirsty cannibal, Merry Christmas and keep the change, ya filthy animal.