A creamy block of processed fat, sometimes I’m cultured in a vat. I can be sharp, or made in blends, but don’t you dare cut me ‘round friends.

What is three-sevenths chicken, two-thirds cat, and half goat?

Following heat, effort, or qualms, I might even line your palms. I am the life-saving tears of glands, while those without me still have pants.

I am known for providing a sense of scale, but I do not measure in inches or centimeters. You might eat me.

Mom was a vampire. In my school that's what I told. She took blood from all.