As an honest lie, I’m pretty ugly. As an insomniac, I sleep well. I’m a happy disaster, and a tiny catastrophe. Saying my name sounds smart, but make others feel dumb.

A duck, a goose, and Jesus walk into a bar. They walked through a pond, a lake, and a river to get here. Who pours a drink first?

I make a grand display that's likely entertaining, but I do not make your sight improved without an s on me. People often act ridiculous to make themselves into me.

I am sometimes in a room, but I am not supposed to be there. You might avoid talking about me.

What's in my pocket? I'll give you a hint: The head of a fork, an unwrapped mint A lexical invention, Fortuna's balm And grease for the crease of Charon's palm