Beer before liquor, you've never been sicker; liquor before beer, you're in the clear. This poison has been drinkable for many ages; it's legal most places, while weed is considered dirty. Prohibition once tried to disturb me; the U.S. government poisoned its people to try and deter me.

Knowing it is a fruit is intelligence; knowing not to put it in a fruit salad is wisdom.

In stories and skeletons I’m easy to find, yet some cowardly folk are told to grow one of mine.

What do you call a man born with no shins?

Some people call me stubborn, others hard of head, If you want to make me angry then you'll have me seeing red, I'm an expert duelist with the swords I bear upon my brow, A ladies man at heart, I love them all, even if she's a bit of a cow