Riddonkulous

'Twas the morn after turkey. In front of the shops the glass door was creaking, it was going to pop. The customers hung right outside in the lot, piled up to the door to see what could be bought. Unlocking doors and trying not to fall, retailers backed up as hordes flooded the mall. Outside: a noise, such a cacophonous clatter. Dad vaulted the roof by using a ladder! He looked like he hadn't slept for some days. 'FOR CHRISTMAS!!!' he yelled, eyes going two sep'rate ways. A fever dream... For some a living. What am I? One day past Thanksgiving.